These serve as basic Ground Rules as well as truths we hold to be self-evident.
- Non-judgment is what makes room to notice our innate well-being. Take off the good/bad labels and things just are. Feel the relief in that. It is the opposite of pressure.
- We’re not here to fix people because no one is broken...no matter how much they may believe they are.
- Respect for self and others is primary and non-negotiable.
- We each create our own world with the way we express and listen. This means we all have the ability to respond in new ways that change that allow evolution of how we express and listen.
- Presume Good Will when hearing others
- Given different life circumstances beyond my control I could be having the same experience someone else is having.
- Everyone is intrinsically equally worthy and deserving.
- One thing is not intrinsically better or worse than another. Comparing can be useful for discernment but only if we stop short of judging (see first principle).
- We are to be authentically available. We are here to hear one another and to understand one another better with an appreciation for our differences.
These are guidelines that help us feel safer and therefore make it easier to bring down the walls that create isolation and alienation.
- Self care is self preservation. You must have your own oxygen mask on first.
- Boundaries are not judgements. They are simply what you need to stay beneficially engaged.
- You are not a doormat. If you feel walked on, walk away.
- There is a limit to negativity, pay attention to when you’ve hit your limit and communicate it kindly.
- Leaving when you’ve hit your limit is not rejection. It is respect for self, other and the space between you.
- You can hold the trashcan and you can hold a punching bag but you are NOT a trashcan OR a punching bag. Anything that feels otherwise is over the line. Period.
- Boundaries are like clothing. They change with the weather/context/situation.
- Protect your personal information.
- Nothing “inappropriate” - whatever that means to you. If you are uncomfortable, say so. If it doesn’t stop, leave the call.